Well, seeing as I owe you guys a posting this week and it being the week before Rosh Hashana, I guess that will have to be my topic. So how is it that after 21 years of being an Orthodox Jew, facing Rosh Hashana year after year, it continues to be such a daunting, intimidating, invigorating and yet, ultimately forgettable experience?
You probably know what I mean. Every year, you stand up there in shul and pray you're little heart out, realizing all the things you've done horribly wrong this year and just KNOWING that it is only by Hashem's good grace that you have heretofore been written and sealed for life. You feel the terror in the thought that this year, Hashem may have finally had enough. You bargain with Hashem, making promise after promise that this year you WILL be better about tefillah, you WILL watch how you speak to and about people, and you WILL do more to distance yourself from whatever awful skeleton resides in your closet. All of these promises fervently made over the yomim nora'im in a fit of hysteria are promptly tossed aside by Sukkos.
I've tried listening to shiurim to inspire me, making lists in prominent places that I know I'll see them, and enlisting friends and family to remind me, but inevitably, I always seem to fail. And what's worse is that, as Rosh Hashana is again rapidly approaching, I still can't shake myself into caring. And isn't that the worst part? That no matter how badly you WANT to care, you just can't?
Yeah...it really is, right? I'll bet you were maybe hoping that this would lead to some kind of sage advice on how to deal with this issue, but this really isn't that kind of blog. Hey, at least you know we're in this together.
K'siva v'chasima tova, y'all. (You should be written and sealed for good) Oh, and chag samayach!