Thursday, January 21, 2010

STOP!!!!!

You see the title of this post? That's what I want to scream at the world almost every day. Every time another friend gets married or pregnant, or every day that I realize I have new and bigger responsibilities. Every time another person I know suffers a tragedy. Sometimes I just want to revert. It doesn't help that it's been 6 months since I deactivated my facebook account and only just reactivated it for this short trip to Israel. I've been bombarded with change. Just going through my friends list and seeing all the girls with new names, I became very aware that time stops for no (wo)man.

The past year has been a rocky one for me with ups and downs and the occasional diagnals, but all that is status quo. As I believe I've mentioned before in previous discussions on the matter, change terrifies me. I spent much of my first night of marriage crying and wondering what the heck I had just done. By the next week, it had become normal. The same with my first week of seminary. I just don't like it when things change. I fear the unknown.

But that's not really the point I'm trying to make here (and I'm not sure how my brain ended up on that tangent anyway...) What I'm trying to say is:

1) To all of my friends who have gotten engaged, married, pregnant or had children since I left facebook, I am so happy for all of you. Congrats! Mazal tov! May you continue to have plenty of simchos, brachos, and nachos (mmmm...cheezy...) for many many many years to come.

2) To all of my friends who have been upset for one reason or another that I was not on facebook (and that I am going to once again be not on facebook in a little over a week), I do not drop off the face of the planet. I have a blog, I have email, I have a phone, I have IM and Skype, and I even have (gasp!) a physical presence in Baltimore.

It was very easy over the past 6 months to really know who my friends are. Don't get me wrong. I'm not implying that people who didn't keep in touch are not my friends. I understand how crazy and hectic life can be and remembering to keep in touch with people when you don't have status updates as a constant reminder that they exist can be very difficult. But those people who really went the extra mile to punch my number into their phones, write my name into the address box of an email, or click my screen name on instant messenger and committed almost herculean acts of socialization in this day and age to speak to me really showed me how much I meant to them. Please please, don't mistake my grandiose exaggerations for sarcasm. I appreciate my friends more than they (you) know.

Just please, stop changing. K?

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